If you know me, you know how I like to be upbeat, smile, laugh. So I apologize for this blog. This is just a look in to my life and how I'm personally going through it.
As most of you know, my husband is dealing with a set of bad kidneys and waiting on a transplant. He's currently doing home treatments with peritoneal dialysis, and has been for the past 2.5 years. We've learned to adjust to this lifestyle. We've just learned now that this form of dialysis isn't working anymore, and he needs to switch to hemodialysis. One surgery is this Friday, and two surgeries are Tuesday, and there's another one that we need to schedule after that. Without going in to details, hemodialysis is going to dramatically change our lifestyles, once again.
I can't speak for Bryan, so this is how I feel.
It breaks my heart to watch him going through this. As his wife, I would love nothing more to be able to take it all away for him. My mind goes and goes and goes, trying to think of some kind of solution to this newest problem. It's a lot of stress on a person, and on a marriage. Lately, in the past month, I've felt a boost and feel closer to my husband than in past months. It must have been God preparing us for this bump in the road. Bryan is incredibly strong, and such a great person with a tremendous heart. He's the last person to deserve this.
Having to go through this at a young age, a fairly new marriage, is very hard. Not having my family near makes things harder for me. This is no offense to my friends and inlaws that are here. Sometimes there's just nothing like a mom's hug. There are times I want to break down because I feel so helpless. I want to scream that life isn't fair. I don't understand why this is happenening to him.. to us. But I do trust that God knows what he's doing, and we are well secured in his arms. One day Bryan will get the transplant he needs.
If you are a client of mine, I don't want you to think that I'm unhappy when I'm at your wedding or taking your pictures at another event. Because, really, I'm truly happy to be there. My smile and laughs aren't fake. I love my job, and I love my clients. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else than working with you.
With all that being said, I'm a little behind on my work. I'll soon be sharing pictures from Lisa and Dan Rigg's wedding. Thank you to all of my clients who have been so paitent with me. I know waiting to see your wedding pictures is hard, and 2 weeks seems like an eternity. I really have the best clients ever.
And thank you to all of my family and friends who have been praying and thinking about us. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Thank you Ken for reminding me of this verse.
"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5